Leader Universal Generic Personalized Religious Hate Mail

The Leader doesn't receive hate mail. But others do. Leader's good friends over at Flying Spaghetti Monster HQ get so much that they've added a separate section on their website.

One of the most notable ones is this little gem by a one jade-jewel. Here's the original:

YOU DUMB BITCH!!! this is no such thing as a fucking flying spaghetti monster and hes not god ! If he were real i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa! you people are sick and demented, and your all going to fucking hell! FUCKING SPEGHETTI I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC! IM SORRY BUT MY SPEGHETTI DOES NOT TALK TO ME IT IS NOT JESUS! Lol you all are way to funny XD You guys must be on some good drugs, pass that shit around. Sooo like are you guys in a cult or something?? What are the disciples of this spaghetti guy? A piece of garlic toast and a meat ball? LOL!!!! You guys are soo sick i wouldnt even spit in your direction and when you all die im gonna piss on ALL of your graves!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You are all a joke!! I will tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti!!! and i will scream out .weres you fuckiNG spaghetti bitch now? Is he gonna save you? NOO! Cause hes NOT REAL!. Do you guys like revolve around food or something? Like cause you have fine art taco photography?!? Who the dumb bitch who thought of this religion??? Cause i bet you money they were on shrums at the time or maybe some fucking acid! Cause this is some trippy shit! AND yes i do believe in hell! But im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti! JESUS CHRIST I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT!!! DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT?

WTF???That does not look like a spaghetti monsterrrr you dumb cunt! SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!

- jade-jewel

The Leader thinks it never hurts to help, so he prepared this universal generic personalized version of the above hate mail which you can customize and spread your own unique brand of hate to those religions/groups/clubs/foods/people that bug you.

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My Dearest [PUT THEIR NAME HERE],

YOU DUMB BITCH!!! this is no such thing as a fucking flying spaghetti monster Cthulhu Jesus atheist Buddha Mohammad Leader Subgenius Allah Jehovah and hes not god ! If he were real i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa! you people are sick and demented, and your all going to fucking hell! FUCKING SPEGHETTI UNBELIEVERS CIRCUS PEOPLE TENTACLES WAFERS AND WINE HOLY WATER GRAPE JUICE UNLEVENED BREAD NO PORK I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC! IM SORRY BUT MY SPEGHETTI HOLY WAFER COMMUNION WINE HOLY WATER BEER GRAPE JUICE UNLEVENED BREAD BACON AND EGGS TENTACLE MOMMY ACTION FIGURE MAGIC INVISIBLE SPACE FAIRY DOES NOT TALK TO ME IT IS NOT A FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER JESUS BUDDHA CTHULHU ZEUS CONFUCIUS QUETZALCOATL THE POPE ALLAH JEHOVAH ! Lol you all are way to funny XD You guys must be on some go od drugs, pass that shit around. Sooo like are you guys in a cult or something?? What are the disciples of this spaghetti Jesus Buddha Humanist movement Pope Allah Mohammed Leader Bob Dobbs Jehovah guy? A piece of garlic toast and a meat ball bunch of free-thinking intellectuals piece of bland cracker and a gulp of wine silly Danish cartoon representation of a guy nailed to a cross personality test cultist endlessly chanting for the end of the world right-wing fundamentalist spinning top made of clay ? LOL!!!! You guys are soo sick i wouldnt even spit in your direction and when you all die im gonna piss on ALL of your graves!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You are all a joke!! I will tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti my own brand of religion beer blood the souls of the damned bland crackers wine while you're fasting roast beef pork !!! and i will scream out .weres you fuckiNG spaghetti separation of church and state secular society Jesus Buddha Mohammad Zeus Odin Allah Jehovah bitch now? Is he gonna save you? NOO! Cause hes NOT REAL!. Do you guys like revolve around food or something? Like cause you have fine art taco photography?!? Who the dumb bitch who thought of this religion??? Cause i bet you money they were on shrums at the time or maybe some fucking acid! Cause this is some trippy shit! AND yes i do believe in hell! But im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti Jesus Cthulhu Buddha Charles Darwin Mohammad Allah Jehovah ! BY HIS NOODLY APPENDAGES FEATHERY QUETZALCOATL JESUS CHRIST ALL WONDERFUL BUDDHA IA IA CTHULHU F'THAGN HOLY DAMMIT CHRISTMAS SWEET EARTH MOTHER PEACEFUL MOHAMMAD ALLAHU AKBAR GOOD GOD JUMPING JEHOSEPHAT HOLY COW OH MY VARIOUS GODS I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT HORSESHIT BATSHIT POO-POO PEER EVALUATED SCIENTIFIC PAPER TRIPE FEEL GOOD NONSENSE STUFF HATEFUL ORGANIZATION DEATH CULT PYRAMID SCHEME PUDDING !!! DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT? WTF???That does not look like a spaghetti monsterrrr a guy drinking a beer a feathered serpent a fat science fiction writer Jesus Buddha Mohammad, not that his image can be depicted anywhere Allah Cthulhu Jehovah you dumb cunt! SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!

Sincerely, [PUT_YOUR_NAME_HERE]

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Simply adjust the configurable message, then copy it down with crayon on some brightly coloured construction paper, and mail it out to all the people who piss you off. There. Feel better?

Let us know if we can help with anything else.

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